Rewind

I used to want to rewind to the times when nothing else mattered
When my heart was content and I had little care in the world
I would rewind and replay in slow motion those memories I wish I’d never forget
And press pause and enjoy those special times with people I love
People I never want to forget
I’d relish in the moments where all I would do is sigh in total bliss
And allow the good memories to fill me with joy and peace
I would fast forward through the painful moments
And delete the series of failed relationships, the string of hurt feelings and broken hearts
But that’s not reality
I can’t control what has happened, what is happening and will happen
I realize now that my experiences have made me into the woman I am now
And without the good and the bad I probably wouldn’t be where I am now
Thankful for the learning experience this journey has been
I’ve decided to just let life flow and enjoy the journey

Facing My Fears

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

2013 has been a year of getting out of God's way and being obedient to what He has called me to do. I've been facing some of my biggest fears and while it has been scary, it has also helped me to trust God throughout every step of the way. God has given me peace behind the microphone, He's reminded me that my voice is a weapon, a powerful tool that needs to be used to establish His kingdom.

I performed a piece of writing for the second time tonight in front of an audience and I was fearful that no one would understand it and that it wouldn't be received well. I was full of nerves getting on stage but once I grabbed hold of the microphone that fear of inadequacy and that self-defeating attitude left me immediately. I was no longer fearful of the audience's reaction because through the words in my poem I was reminded of who I am and who I belong to.

I am a child of God. 

Nothing else matters.

Caged

Like a caged bird; life outside the bars was a fantasy
Routine became comfortable so I made that my only reality
I watched the world pass me by while I clung to the lies that I would never measure up
Instead of trusting God I trusted fear and found comfort there
I feared the unknown
I feared rejection and failure
So I promised myself that I would not be the one to suffer
I let life pass me by
I gave up on my future and made my present my only concern
It wasn't until I allowed His light into my darkness that I saw the cage for what it really was
A cage built on a foundation of lies
Fortified against the Truth
My cage was fear
And the key was faith in God
I was trapped inside for so long and never looked to God for freedom
I was so afraid to look past my present because the thought of the future left me paralyzed that I chose to stand still
Thinking I would be safe in my cage on the doorstep of danger
When I gave Him access to my heart, He showed me where I fit into his story
He reminded me that my voice is a gift to bring Him glory
Thankful for the freedom from my Creator
No longer caged but soaring in His strength
Now unstoppable